Cartoon Tabloids?

If cartoons had a tabloid newspaper, what would the headlines look like? I guess these would sound better with a Mike Enriquez impersonation. The headlines are in Filipino format, so basically only people who speak the language would understand it. Of course, they're all gossip. Do not take them seriously.
  • SKELETOR, MALNOURISHED?!
  • ICHIGO KUROSAKI, BANKAY!
  • AVATAR AANG, NABUANG!
  • EDWARD ELRIC, ADIK!
  • BARBIE AND KEN, PATAY!....(ang cellphone habang nanonood ng sine) 
  • PAC MAN, MINUMULTO!
  • DIG DUG MOVIE, RATED R DAHIL SA PUMPING SCENE!
  • PORKY PIG! NILITSON!
  • DAFFY DUCK, PINAPAK!
  • HARRY POTTER, ISKWATER?!
  • LALAKE NABANGGA NANG STORYLAND TRAIN, BUHAY!
  • ERNIE AT BERT, BREAK NA DAW?!
  • BIG BIRD, MAY SMALL BIRD! (This could mean a lot of things, I guess we'll know who has a dirty mind)
Yep, its a strange world out there.

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